1st Time Mommy- Deer In The Headlights Look All Over Again

Anxiety. Anxiety is the best way to describe my current feeling and continual feeling since Friday. Or maybe sensory overload? Fear, doubt, uncertainty?

These feelings started Friday because I started making plans to attend the elementary school showcase here in our district. That started the uncertainty, since I had no idea what to expect, what to do, where to start. Thankfully Sr went with me and we prep talked before getting there about our expectations and what we  thought we knew. So we get there and starts the words of clusters, transportation, magnets, traditional, applications and so forth. O. M. G.

So now stuff is starting to hit me. Like Omg were here looking at schools for my soon to be kindergartner. Where has the time gone? Omg my baby is growing up and isn't a baby anymore. How is he going to do in school with all the big kids? I hope he doesn't give his teacher hell. I hope he doesn't try to mack on his teacher. Will he get bullied? Will he be a bully? These are all thoughts that ran through my head in all of 30 seconds after taking with the assistant principal of one school.  Keep in mind while I'm having a million thoughts run through my head, I'm looking crazy wandering around this ballroom.

We got some good information about the schools in our cluster, we found out we will have transportation within our cluster and we, will I'm still kinda on the fence of magnet vs traditional schools. So comes the next part, visiting schools and determining what we like and what we feel is best. With that being said it was asked how the schools of our choice test scores look. This brought on a whole second wave of overstimulation. Now I'm looking like Omg what does this mean, this percentile- is it more good than bad, what is this based off of etc. Anxiety all over again. Then I see posts about the brigance test and ho so and sos child did this or missed that, passed this. That sends me into a whole nother tizzy. Can you see why I'm on overload yet? Now in trying to figure out where this test is, when it should or should have been done, has it already been done-if so how did Jr do. *enter doubt and uncertainty on behalf of the mother *
I've never heard of any of this before this. Wtf is this and where are we in relation to this? Now in feeling like: well I should been known about this. What is my daycare doing to prepare him? I know I've slacked off on my end when it comes to home work, I've probably failed him. Like this all stuff that I'm feeling right now, and lightweight cry about. Im stressed about this.

If you've gone through this process, is all of this norma? Am I crazy? A little bit of both? Pray for me

How do you deal?

With every season change comes a season change. And that mess will come whether you're ready or not. What do you do or how do you deal when you're seasons change unexpectedly? How do you feel when your season changes in a way that impacts you in a negative way?  When my season changes, I always learn something new. It can be some new feeling that I didn't know I had, like when I first cut my hair. That feeling was something like a little more sass mixed with a lil bit of bad ass. Lol
I had some unexpected situation come up recently and when I was telling my Sr about it, he told me that this could've easily been avoided had I done xyz. Immediately after he said that, I was feeling some kind of way because he was blaming me for this situation when in fact he was right. Had I taken care of business when I was supposed to, my lesson could've been on a whole different subject. But it's not so oh well.

With some of your most recent season changes what have you learned? How do you deal?

life

Four months since writing, not so proud of myself, but that's life right?  my life. Lol

My life is constantly evolving, shaking and moving. It has made me stronger, more confident in myself, more conscious and aware. It has given me a multitude of emotions and feelings, some of which have been completely new to me. Life has made me better. A better mom, wife, daughter, sister and cousin. Life has given me reason, understanding, peace and a little more patience. I am grateful for life and all of its opportunities it's provided me. Life has made me who I have become, who I am becoming and an idea of who I will be. I am grateful for life and all of those  in it.

To my beautiful aunt who is no longer in my life, I love you. You have raised some pretty awesome children who are very smart and strong individuals. I only hope I can do the same with mine. You have inspired me to educate my son just like you did us every summer. It's amazing how I much I miss you, knowing we didn't talk as often as we should have. I admit, I took your being alive for granted, and for that I am sorry. I love you and thank you for everything you have done for me throughout my life and in passing. Without you, I wouldn't be stronger, wiser and better. Thank you. I hope when I see you in the next life time, those 3  little words will have the same meaning.

I love you, be glad that you are free

Busy Little Bee

In motion, that's what I've been. It all started last weekend. I had this great idea about how I wanted my hair to be. Thanks to my email subscription to Natural Hair Rules, I decided that I wanted to do yarn wraps/locs or faux locs. I thought it would be a great idea since its about to be hot outside, my hair needs a break from the heat, and natural big hair is hot. So 20 hours later, this is what I look like. I love them. We shall see how long they last.

If you like em and want yours done, let me know, we can talk prices. If you want anything else done, twists, braids, updos, flatirons, whatever, I can do it. Lets talk!

So after I got this done, we decided we were going hiking. We went to a park here locally and had a blast. This was everyones first time hiking, I can guarantee it wont be the last. We actually plan on going back tomorrow, this time were adding to the group. 

Today was the first day of the rest of my life as a "Sports Mom." My baby (who isn't a baby anymore) started TeeBall

I am #10's mom. And according to my friend, I am the "loud mom." Guess what?!? I don't care! I posted a video on Instagram of him when he was batting, and all you can hear is me yelling "Run baby Run." In my defense, I yelled for everyone's kid. I was something like "assistant coach" today. (yes I gave myself that title)  After all, I had to help get the kids in order for batting and keep the bench right today. So the AC title is appropriate. LOL Even dad got put to work today, he held down 3rd base to make sure the kids ran there and not all over the field. As my cousin Coco said, youth sports is Organized Chaos. It was too cute. All the kids would swarm the ball when it was hit and run everywhere, some of the kids after they hit it would go chase the ball too. It was too funny. Needless to say, I am pumped for the season. I will have on my team colors next week. I love it.

untitled

My last post was about 3 weeks ago when all of the fun Derby festivities were starting.. Today is DERBY!! So much has happened within that time, I just have to share. I think the most game changing event that has happened thus far is my promotion. I applied to be a team lead in the same call center I work in about a month ago. That was one of the longest months in my life. lol I applied and from there it took about 2 weeks to get the phone interview, from there it took another week to get the face to face interview and then it was like a bajilion weeks to hear something back. i kid, but that's what it felt like. I got this news on a Friday, so you know that started the weekend off right! This past week, I started in my role. When i did the team lead thing last year for a 2 month stint, it didn't seem to start out so rough. But when i was interim before, my team was training still, so I had time to prepare and get myself ready, whereas with this, I'm starting off filling someone elses shoes. That is a whole new game. lol Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I just have to come a little more prepared. I'm going to take a little more time Sunday to get a little more prepared for this upcoming week. I've obtained allot of good info and resources from other leads, so now i just have to organize them in a fashion that will work for me. Ive said it before and I'll say it again. I will be the best damn lead ever. I'm excited for this challenge.

Some of my readers may know that my wonderful little boy is a Derby baby. Which means he will always have a bomb birthday when he gets older. So to start his birthday weekend off, I decided to take him to Churchill Downs to watch the horses practice.

We got out there about 7:00 Thursday morning, I wasn't sure what to expect so it was something new to the both of us. Let me tell you, for someone who knows nothing of horses or horse racing, watching those horses practice was one beautiful moment. Ive never been to Churchill Downs before, Ive been to the museum, but that does no justice whatsoever for the track. I enjoyed watching the horses prance past us up close and personal, but i enjoyed my sons reaction to the horses more. Hes growing up to be such a big young man, it just makes my eyes water every time i think about it.

In case you were wondering who the winning derby horse is going to be, let me give you a little insight.. 

Little Tiny will be this years winner.

After going to the track, we went to the Pegasus Parade. This was the first year going to the parade since being out here, and it was chilly. But the weather every Derby is generally chilly. But we were out there watching everything going down. 

This was the best view in the house, too bad it was only enough room for one.

This is my life. I wouldn't change a thing. 

Exhaustion with a capital E

Its  8:22 am on a Monday morning, and I feel like a zombie.  This past weekend has been one of the busiest weekends ever... and I need more time to recover. The sad part about it is, I didn't have an ounce of alcohol to drink.. smh.  What did we do this weekend? Well lets start with Friday.. 

Friday: Friday night was a #WifeOfAMusician #1Night4Shows kind of night. Mr Rmllw2llz had scheduled 4 shows that night. One of them being in Frankfort and the other 3 being in Louisville. You talk about feeling rushed all night. And it doesn't help that we started a little later than normal. Needless to say we made 3 out of the 4 shows, and it was a very long night. However the shows that he did perform at were great.. you can read more on my Wife of a Musician blog. Getting home around 4 gave me about ooh.. 4 hours of sleep, if I was lucky. So with those 4 hours started Saturday.

Saturday: Thunder Over Louisville  2014.. the start to all things derby. This year was the 25th anniversary of Thunder and this year we had the blue angels back for the air show. Needless to say we were packed and ready to go to be outside all day and most of the night for the airshow and fireworks.  We had our cooler packed, a food bag packed, the chairs, and a comforter for maxing and relaxing. We found the best spot ever to watch the fireworks, but it seemed to get a little crowded kinda fast, so we took the party inside with some of the family and was able to chill out  (literally) and watch everything from a comfortable distance. Jr got to run amok with his cousins and just play til his little heart was content. 

 When it was time for the fireworks, it didn't go as expected. Well actually it did. I wasn't expecting him to be all for it since Jr hadn't had a nap all day, and he was running off of animal crackers and chips. lol The fireworks ended up being too loud for him and he was scared. Which gave us the perfect opportunity to leave mid show and beat the traffic.  

 

 

Sunday: I don't know who thought putting $3 admission day on the same weekend as Thunder was going to be a good idea, but they did it anyway. And we went. smh. Running on about 6 hours of sleep, we packed up the cooler and hit the road to the zoo. I swear the who city tried to turn up to the zoo yesterday, we sat in traffic in the same area for about an hour. No bueno. When we finally got to the zoo it was just that... a zoo. There were so many people there it was crazy. I think half the people that were at thunder (officially  60,000 people attended) were at the zoo.  I was so packed. The crowds alone give me anxiety, but my lil man enjoyed himself and got to hang out with his new friend so that's all that matters. I know if I feel like a zombie, my child has to feel the same. But he had a good fun weekend and hes happy so that's all that matters. Now we just need an early bed  time and everyone will be happy.  lol 

 

 

 

Loving every follicle

Whats something about yourself that you know has changed over the course of time?  For me, one of my main identifiers is my hair. Over the past 8 years my hair has changed. There hasn't been allot of drastic changes, but there have been a few stages in my life. Take for instance, when I first moved here, I always wore my hair in a flat iron, or maybe a curly ponytail. Nothing more. Straight and controllable, that was me.

Then I decided to loc my hair up. That didn't receive allot of good feedback from others. (That didn't matter) I had my locs for about a year. I know I've made some posts about being on that journey. During the time of my locs, I was going through some things. Thankfully were past that stage.  
With overcoming those problems I decided the locs needed to come out, and with that a hair cut was also a necessity.  That was a the shortest my hair has ever been.

 After a little bit of length, I decided to see what the "natural" look was all about. Now don't get it twisted, Ive always been natural... no perms, relaxers and very little color. The natural that I speak of is wearing my curls just as they were. That also means big. Big means it is not the straight and controllable that I was used to. So that was an adjustment. My debut of the natural was at the birthday party of my little cousin. There was very little product and patience with the head in those early stages.  When I started doing a little bit of research on products, styles, suggestions etc. I stumbled upon moknowshair. Her tutorials are fantastic, and she was the one who introduced me to my new habit. My CurlBox. What in the world is a CurlBox you ask? Well.... let me enlighten you.. A CurlBox is a monthly subscription for $25, each month you get a box of hair products. My first box was the February box and it came with 4 FULL size products along with many many samples.  You would have thought it was Christmas time as excited as I was. I was truly like a kid in the candy store. The two products that I used the most out of the February were the Aunt Jackie's moisturizing and softening conditioner and Beautiful Texture moisture butter whipped curl cream. The Aunt Jackie's conditioner really helped keep the moisture in hubby's hair when he would get braided. The whipped curl cream was one of the best things that I've put in my hair to help maintain my curls. It keeps the wash and go style very manageable for the week. This will be something that I will be purchasing when I run out.

I just got my March CurlBox yesterday. You should have seen me, I was out in the yard doing work, when i saw the mailman walk by I already knew what time it was. I was dangling in the kitchen window trying to reach the knifes so I can open up my box. This month we got a full line of C arols Daughters brand. Which by the way is now being sold in Targets.  The  Sacred Tiare shampoo and conditioner were fantastic in my hair. The shampoo didn't lather too much, which made me feel like I didn't use enough. I didnt go overboard with it though, I know not all shampoos will give you the  super suds. Plus this product lacks ingredients of other shampoos that can be purchased for less than $5.00. The saying goes,  you get what you pay for. And I am paying for better products with less harmful ingredients to put in my hair. Also in the box came a leave in conditioner, and styling cream.   The leave-in conditioner made my hair more manageable and easier to comb through. I used the styling cream to roll my hair on some rollers.  Since I dont have any flex rods, I figured I would just twist and roll my hair up. After a horrible nights sleep, and a few hours under the dryer, I took the rollers out and just pinned my hair up for the day.  I am super pumped to use an entire line of great products like Carols Daughter. Especially since this is a brand I have been wanting to try.
If you get a CurlBox what do you think about the products? Want to see the finished look, follow me on instagram.

I hate waiting..

If you didn't know that, well, I guess now you do. My patience level has always been on the low side, so when I have to wait, well, that's just dumb. Well I guess it's not really dumb, but more of a way to help increase the patience that I have. Take for instance, right now the car is in the shop, so that gives me a set of waiting periods. I have to wait for the bus to get where Im going, and I have to wait to hear back from the mechanic. BOO! Something else that Ive been having to wait on is, a shift in roles at work. Ive been doing some research and I see that the place Im trying to slide into is vacant and waiting, but there is a process and I have to follow it. Right now Im waiting to find out when this process will start. -_- The winter this year has been something like crazy. One day we had rain, the next we were under a winter storm warning. This week we were up to about 75 degrees, the next day we dropped to 40 in a matter of hours. Can we say over winter aka waiting for spring. lol Ugh where is the fast forward button when you need it?

Wormie's the name...

     Reading's my game. 



I've had a lot of time to read here lately. So far this year, I've read 3 books working on the 4th. So far this year, I've read I Am Legend, Life of Pi and The Descendants, currently working on the Undisputed Truth, IT, . I feel like I've been flying through some books this year, according to my goal list,  I'm 10 books behind. lol I can dig the fact that i can read my book anywhere as long as I have my phone, but at the same time, I feel like I need to go to the library for a small  come to Jesus. I've been cheating on my library for a few months now. I need to feel a library book and smell the greatness of it. Well anyway, here are my thoughts about what I've completed thus far.


 I thought the movie was head on the book. Granted I've only seen the movie once, and it was a while ago, the book still was like i remember the movie. I always like reading books that have movies that just so I can compare them. If you liked the movie, I'm pretty sure you will like the book as well.  Books that I can watch in great detail in my mind are always better. 4 out of 4 stars for this one.

 I recently watched the directors edition of this movie on AMC and learned that the movie was based off of a book. So I decided to see what it was about. In the movie,  the creatures were zombies with vampire like tendencies. They wouldn't come out until the sun went down, but the book they were straight vampires. The book was originally written in 1954, so it wasn't like the movie in the sense of the technology, and the ending was different too. I thought it was really really good, just kind of hard to get the movie out my head while reading it. 3 out of 4 stars

What made me pick this book up? I think it was one of the first
books that was on the ebook list on the library's website. Plus George Clooneys face was on the cover. I had already seen the movie, and I remember not being all that impressed with the movie. Since the books are generally better than the movie, I figured I'd see if it was true or not. NOT. The book was just as bad as the movie. The book was written well, but it wasn't a good story. Very dry. 1 star out of 4 stars.

 This is what I am currently reading. I think that Mike Tyson is not only one crazy mutha flucka, but a very misunderstood, and very interesting. Like I want to go and watch clips of him from when he first started to all the major moments in his life. Just to see how he was and what he looked like. Its like I know what you were going through at that time, and I know why you acted the way you did, but let me watch it. You have to understand that Tyson was doing big thangs before I was even born. This man is a beast, an animal in his terms. I think one of the funniest things in reading this was when he went on his rant to the reporter at the Lennox Lewis press conference. The man is crazy. I totally respect him and look at him in a different light. 5 out of 6 stars, and I'm not even done.

Ok well there is my reviews of the 2014 book selection this year. What have you read this year thus far? Leave a comment let me know or find me on goodreads.com, I'm always looking for something new to read.

Heres to you slick

$5 bucks says this will be on the TV tomorrow morning. So far this school year, we have had  6 snow days/early dismissals. The sad part about it is, half of those probably could have been avoided. Now here is the part where I go into when I was growing up, and how i had to go to school in a least 3 feet of snow. I, however, did not have to walk in it. I had the luxury of driving in the mess. My school sat on top of a hill that I had to maneuver Red Bone up. And if I got stuck, eff it, leave it on the hill and hike. I come from the midwest, the land of snow during the winter time.. I currently live in what I've heard called the midwest.. CLEARLY this is NOT the midwest, not even close. More like mideast-ish.

 My first winter here, and every one since amazes me at how many school closings there are. Granted right now, it is currently raining, and earlier there were ice pellets falling.. The city may in fact be something like an ice skating rink tomorrow. Schools, daycare's and work were released early today in efforts help get everyone home safe. The last time we were released early from work, it was a day late and a dollar short. The ice was a half inch thick on the cars, and it was still snowing. Folks I work with said it took them 4 hours or more to get home.  So it was a good choice to let go home before the storm hit. Tonight we are expected to have non stop snow/ice/rain. It has been non stop for the past 3 hours now. It first started as ice pellets, the last time I looked out the door it was raining.. Oh  goody goody gum drop. I hope the i city is out working and salting right now. You would think they were right? For as long as I've been here, it always seems like the city trucks are out the most after everything is said and done, and not during the storm or before pre-treating. I've been through an ice storm before since being out here, and that was one scary situation to be in. Especially if you have trees close to your window, and you can hear the tree limbs breaking from the weight of the ice. Scary stuff i tell ya. The meteorologist said its not supposed to be as bad as the previous storm, but looking out side now, I can tell you its not gonna be pretty tomorrow. Pray for us readers.. 

Be easy yall 

Blessed beyond measure

So I know, I've hit my slacker stage again when it comes to writing. Let  me put the disclaimer out there, the first half of this was written almost 2 and a half months ago. Back in November, my  boss told me that he recommended me for an interim team lead position while one of the current leads goes out for medical reasons. Now with the recommendation alone, I was hype, and very grateful.  Upon my arrival to work the following day, the supervisor in need told me that I am now her interim team lead. No there's no pay increase, but this is just more experience to add to my resume here at my job. Im grateful not only because its our busy time and I can be off the phones, but more so for the opportunity that I am being presented with. There's a possibility that other positions can become availabe to me after this assignment is over. So who knows. All I can say is im grateful and blessed.

So with that being said, my run with my new hire team is over. And yes i said, MY new hire team. I say that because I got them on their first real day on the phones,  which can be most terrifying in this type of work environment. I remember my first day on the phones and all of the terror, and second guessing myself I did. Now I get to see them for more than one day and get to see their growth and development. The first day, I had folks crying saying they didn't known if they were going to come back because they just didn't know what to do. 2 months later, 2 people from my team specifically have left, and 2 others from the remainder of the new hire class have quit. What can i say, this type of job isn't for everyone. This is my first real leadership role in the corporate world. Sometimes I forget that, I slip into my call taker role and will say whatever, but I've gotten better about that. There were times when the reps would say something  "oh that's my team lead" or "Tae is my leadership." I try to correct them because I'm only interim and once their real lead comes back, I will no longer be there to guide them and will be back to my normal duties. I appreciate the love and support, but I'm not out here to take this team over or nothing like that. I'm just here to help.

With this position,  its given me a chance to see things from the other side. Ive been in the newbies role, trying to find my way, now im here seeing these people grow, learning their personality types and seeing the same struggle  I dealt with many moons ago.  The experience as a whole has been one that I am grateful for. I received a lot of good feed back, and it also put my name out there. So from here we shall see what the future holds. 

As far as the rest of my life, what can I say. Were just living, growing and continuing to be better. Daddy is becoming something like a local celebrity here in the ville, Jr is growing more and more each and every day. Which by the way, is not something I am prepared for. Sometimes i look at him and just be in awe that he is getting so big..  Well for now, that's all i shall bore you with. :) I promise, I WILL BE BETTER WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING.