Monday, December 14, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
This is something that I remind myself of daily, especially when we have these back and forth moments with our attitudes and words. Granted he is 5 but I see so much of me in him its crazy. Hes stubborn, hard headed and a smart ass. Im not as stubborn as I used to be but the latter of the two..oh buddy. I struggle with myself as a parent daily, wondering how to make my melanted son grow into a strong melenated man that can survive any storm that comes his way and be thankful that I am his mother and taught him many lessons. I know that he loves me more than life itself, he shows that immediately after he gets done throwing his fits. But it still worries me that Im not doing everything possible for him to make sure he'll be alright. Sometimes I find myself wondering if Suzie Q's mom and dad have to repeat things fiftyleven times to get their child to listen and do right or is it that glorified picture that has always been given to us about the non melenated peoples of the world. My mind isnt going to pull memories back from kindergarten for me to be like "oh yeah I was just like him growing up." He has told me more than once that I am mean to him, but like really what do you expect when i have to repeat things 5million times over.. I guess i am part of the instant gratification generation in wanting immediate results. I hate when he tells me that im mean because thats not what im striving to be and i dont want him to hate me, but tell me what else am i supposed to do? Talking regular using my "little johnny" voice doesnt work, so then it becomes the issue of raising my voice and damn near becoming irate before anything gets done. My child is a reflection of me, so i know there are things i need to change, especially in my attitude and voice, but its just hard when youre battling that Taurus. I know i have things i need to work on, not only for my son but also for myself and marriage, the question becomes where to start?
Monday, July 27, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
There has been so much going on in this country here lately with the police and their justification of the use of excessive force and deadly force. A couple of weeks ago, there was a police officer who was on a power trip slamming a teenage female to the ground. She was in a bathing suit, so clearly she was not armed or dangerous and if this police officer considered her life threatening with a towel, well he needs to be a security guard at a dog hotel. Seriously. Last night there was a man who went to a church in Charleston and killed 9 people. NINE. He got away, he didn't get captured until earlier today. And he was captured with no injuries. Why? How long will it take for the defense to yell mental illness? How long will it take for him to be convicted and just sit in jail like everything is OK? I'm sorry, but I'm FED UP. I am sick and tired of the police (both melanated and non) using unnecessary force when it comes to melanated people. Why do i say melanated police, have we forgot Eric Garner? Yeah those police were melanated too. Do you think that the police are here for our protection and to serve US? Nah playa. The police started off at night watchers and slave catchers, can you see why they have the mentality that they do? Hell the police commissioner of NY even stated "Many of the worst parts of black history would have been impossible without police, too...Slavery, our country’s original sin, sat on a foundation codified by laws enforced by police, by slave-catchers." I know there are good cops out there, but here as of lately its hard to believe that they exist or that they even care. Shit they are probably scared themselves to stand up and try to change the image that they now have.
One thing regarding the shooting that took place in Charleston that irked me was the fact that the president is trying to make this about gun control. Sir the fact that this is being classified as a hate crime, lets you know that its more than just gun control. As a melanated woman, knowing that that i have a son to raise in this country, it is very disheartening knowing that the person who "runs" the country is more concerned about controlling the weapons than he is addressing the issues of HIS people. 1st black president.. It was all a dream- in my biggie voice. He has to play the political game I guess, but certainly he cant be as blind as he seems. Does he not know that melanated people are FED UP and its only getting worse? We are tired of losing our own at the hands that we pay for via taxes. We are tired of losing our own to people who have it in their head to assassinate us and get to play the mental illness card every time. WE ARE FED UP. A change is needed and it is coming.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
You know what Ives been doing since last time? RUNNING! I am a runner and I love it. I have been running since last month and I can honestly say I am thoroughly enjoying it. I cracked myself up this past weekend when we were in Wisconsin, picture it: I have an uncle who runs, even when he travels. So this past weekend when we were in Wisconsin, I made sure that I took advantage of the scenery and went for a run, 2 miles in 26 minutes. Here at home, I've been running around the neighborhood, almost 2 miles two times during the week, maybe a little further on the weekends- depending on how busy I've been. So that's that. #iLoveRunning Now to find some running shoes that wont break the bank. Care to donate? lol
What else have I been doing? Oh! I have made a raised garden bed and have some tasty treats growing! I was in DIY mode and made a raised garden bed from a few pallets. From there I planted tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, onions, squash, jalepenos, red peppers, kale, sage, carrots and a few garlic cloves. Now when I planned everything out, the onions and garlic were not a part of the plan. Adding those two kind of made the place a little crowded since I didnt take into account how large plants have to grow in order to produce fruits. Soo now my lettuce and spinach are suffering since the squash are trying to take over that area. One thing that the squash have not deebo'd is my carrots. I screamed and jumped for joy the other day when I saw those carrot tops! My tomatoes are finally flowering as well, so those oh so lovely fried green tomatoes will be harvested soon. I am pumped.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Isn't that how the saying goes? Well it is a new year, but its not a new me, just one that is improving. As last year came to a close, i had a real moment in the sense that i realized i was not happy with certain aspects of myself and my life. So with that, i knew that changes were in order. I decided that starting January 1, i was going to fast from sun up to noon and in doing so i would pray more and really listen and take the guidance being provided to me. Along with am fasting, i have also been meditating in the evening. That has given me so much clarity and peace in itself. I am seeing changes not only in myself but also in others around me especially my son. Its almost like a light has gone off with him and his attitude has flipped for the better. Hes never been a horribly bad kid, just a 4 year old that can make your head hurt...well with me anyway. But its like hes turning into a whole new dude, its crazy but i a grateful. Ive noticed that i am becoming more patient and more peaceful. I dont let much alter my energy, especially in the area that needed fixing the most (my job). Im grateful for these changes. im grateful for the more natural changes i have been making as well. Oil pulling more often, lemon water daily, no fluoride infested toothpaste, all natural deoderant, essential oils... its just little things that make such a difference. It's not a new me, just an improving one. I have about 12 days left of fasting. Lets see what else Allah will do for me.
That is all. Be blessed.