Monday, February 20, 2017

From 1 to 3

Remember how my last post I said I was due any day now, and that I hope I made a difference in little buddys life with that one weekend? Well guess what? The baby has made her entrance and little buddy is now a resident of the house. We went from 1 to 3 in a matter of 2 weeks, talk about change.

This journey that we are on right now, its a bit bumpy, but you know what, it is one with lessons. We are all not only adjusting during this period, but we are also learning, Learning about each other and more importantly ourselves. I knew that when we had Rza life was going to be different, less sleep, more crying, smelly diapers, the works. What I had not planned for was to have a new baby and a new bonus kid at the same time and trying to figure both of them out and how to function with them.

It will be almost 2 months that Rza has blessed us, she is sleeping more, smiling more and even starting to coo at us. Although she tends to be a bit fussy at times, I wouldn't have her any other way. She is the night to Jrs day. Even at 2 months I can tell the difference in them, when he was a baby he was goofy and always smiling. With her, shes very serious and observant. Yes she smiles at you, but you have to work for that smile and even then sometimes its a one sided smile, just enough to show you her one dimple. This is her every day look at you while you sit there and talk baby and make faces at her.

Little buddy has done some good adjustment since being with us as well. He is still getting along with Jr as well as two boys who are the same age can. There is a lot of fussing, name calling and farting that happens in that room but at the end of the day they are "big bro" and "little bro." From what I've observed thus far, I think little buddy feels comfortable and accepted in our house. Hell as much as him and Jr get in trouble, he should know that he belongs here. But I think it's what he needed. He is around a family that looks like him, and treats him like one of their own with no favorites. I am glad that he is with us, he is teaching me about myself and making me have to adjust and adapt. Its a process that's for sure. 

Well here's to another chapter in our book. 

Peace and blessings 

Monday, January 2, 2017

New lessons 2 days in.

Its the 2nd day of the new year and i can say im already learning. This past weekend was the first time our house hosted a foster child, although we have been a foster house for a little under a year now. When the agency initially called me, they were looking to place this young melanated 7 year old boy in a family that resembled him, and was a 2 parent house hold. I was told that he was coming from the sticks of Ky and was getting a lot of racial comments made towards him. Immediately, Sr and I said yes just because of those circumstances alone. A few weeks had gone by and i hadnt heard anything, so i figured the social worker changed their mind. *shrugs shoulders* it is what it is.  A week before christmas, i get a call saying they want to place him with us for the weekend to see how he does, so i set it up to take him  nye weekend not really knowing what to expect.  Now ive been around foster kids before since my mother in law has had them for as long as i can remember, but to actually be the "mom," i had no idea what to expect, especially being pregnant and due any day now. Turns out being a foster mom isn't as scary as i thought it would be especially when you have a good kid who listens.  We got lil buddy home that Friday night and did pizza and movies  to get him comfortable and situated.  It was a relief to see him and jr instantly click and start playing pokemon cards and talk. When it was time to eat, dude ate one piece of pizza when i had made 2 of them expecting for him to be ready to eat. Ok, no big deal, hes still feeling us out not really knowing what to expect, i get it. Next day he said he wanted just 1 egg to eat for breakfast, but quickly realized all was well here and asked for seconds. That was a great moment for me because he was comfortable enough to ask for more to eat. #winning The weekend turned out just fine having dude here, he only had one accident and was proud of himself that it hadnt happened after that first night and even asked for chores. (A child after my heart) lol When it was time to bring him back, my heart hurt. I know youre not supposed to get emotionally attached in situations like this, but how can you not? I like to think that this weekend, dude didn't have to worry about a thing, other than cleaning up toys. I have no clue what his normal day to day life is like, but i hope while he was here he had no worries. This weekend has given me a memory i wont forget. My first experience as a foster mother was conquered, its possible and i feel like we have made a small difference in his life, even if its only a good memory.  I remember talking to someone when we first thought about becoming foster parents and being asked why. My response was that i want to help my people. I cant be out doing activism work, and people are always so quick to either blame the youth or write them off, so with them is where i want to try and make a difference. This weekend, i feel like i did. 💜