I cant tell you how true this is. I mentioned to yall a while back about the Planner group Im in and  Ive been added to another tribe of women. They are well, just as dope. Granted the second group I speak of isnt as intimate as the planner group since everyone is located a little bit of everywhere. But Ill tell you what, there has been some good dialogue that has happened among us, and it has helped the growth process. That second group is actually the reason why I am still fasting, not saying it was a group project, but to say that the amount of guidance and information being shared led me to take this journey. Im truly grateful for the tribes that have embraced me and allowed me to grow. When they say that you should surround yourself with like minded people who will help you grow, its a true statement. Even if yall arent as like minded as  you think, being open and receptive to new ideas and suggestions is one of the best things you can do.  Salute to my empowered planning pose and also the wonderful women of Resurrecting the divine feminine group. I appreciate and receive all that you have to offer.

#sisterhoodIsEverything

I survived the weekend.

This was my first weekend of my fast and I survived! I asked a couple of sistahs that I know are currently on a fast as well if they continued over the weekend and it came to me. Why wouldnt I continue to fast over the weeeknd? Are the answers and clarity that I seek only for the weekdays? No? Then yes, you must continue to fast during the weekend while you are in your comfort zone and food is there waiting to be ate and prepared. Both days I got up before 8 which was hard since everyone else (especially the baby) were still sleep. But I knew that if I wanted to have something like a normal day, I needed to eat something. Greatness doesnt come with out sacrifice right? So saturday morning I enjoyed some salmon croquettes that my aunt taught me how to fix for myself, coffee and conversations with my husband. I proceeded to clean my fridge which then turned into the kitchen. Odd how the one area I wanted to avoid the most is the place I spent the most time in. But it was well worth it, the fridge sparkled, the counters, walls and floors all got washed so I give thanks for it. I will say that with me being so focused on trying to stay busy and not worry about being hungry, I didnt pray as much as I thought I should. I guess I wasnt supposed to, my main goal was to just make it through the day, which I did. I wont lie though, I did cut my fast short saturday but it was only by 30 minutes. I think it was having to feed the baby and make sure her food wasnt too hot that had me fall off the wagon. Sunday  I did better though. I got up and ate and went straight to doing my hair. Once everyone got up and moving, we went grocery shopping -which wasnt as bad as I thought it would be but Ill tell you I wanted all the junk I saw with my little eye. After shopping, I had a fabulous meet up with my planner group to do our vision boards and then it was back to the house to start dinner. I was super proud that even during my cooking, I did not taste a bit of whatever was on my fingers. lol It gives me joy to know that Ive been strong over this weekend and have made it through what I thought was going to be hell. So with that being said, I give thanks for making it through the weekend and more than half way through day 7. What have you given thanks for today?

Reflection

Why are you fasting Tae? Well because I feel like there has been a lot of chaos in my life at the beginning of the month and I tend to stress unnecessarily, so Im doing this to gain some clarity, and guidance and just get myself back together. Throughout this process, Ive been asking for guidance in where ever it is needed, to be a better parent to my children and wife and discipline. Today is day 5 and I honestly dont recall any fast being this difficult before. Day 3 seemed to be the most hungry Ive been throughout the day and yesterday was the most trying on my emotional state. I was like I was knocking at depressions door yesterday and I have no idea why. I reached out to a few people in regards to what I was feeling and was told its part of the detox process. I was also told to drink more water and tea, which I didnt do a whole lot of yesterday. So today I have my water on hand, and my tea sitting in front of me. I give thanks for the process and for having people to provide some guidance. Last night when I was in the shower, I asked why I was doing this because I dont feel like Im getting any answers, Im not seeing any signs or hearing my messages. Then it hit me this morning, you asked to be a better parent, has jr not been trying you more? Is that not an opportunity to be a better parent, to make a change in how you address him and the issue? Have you not been fighting with yourself about quitting this fast? But here you are back at it, staying disciplined and acknowledging what youve gone through and addressing how to change it? hmm... just when I thought this was a bust.. Heres to day 5 with plenty of water and tea.

PEACE                                            strength            Discipline
        Remain strong                the Ancestors will provide                               improvement


My spirit continues to grow with every reminder of my stomach growl. Battling myself arguing about giving in. But yet I remain. I will not break despite how much i want to quit. Something wont let me and for that i am grateful My ancestors, the divine spirit and the universe will continue to guide me and instruct me as i need. Allah continue to provide and i will be satisfied.

Goals

I found a paper that I wrote what I would do in 2016 and when I saw that I didnt even do the first thing on the list I just threw it away. It made me think of what Ive written down for 2018 and how I am determined to not have the same outcome. I wrote my goals down before 2017 closed and have written them multiple times. Matter of fact, I just took one of my many copies from my planner and put it on my new desk for me to see everyday. I am actually able to cross off one of my goals on my list 18 days into the new year, and it feels great! Reading over my goals, I see stuff that requires money to be put away and yet Im still moving in something like a similar pattern that isnt allowing me to save like I need to. Im glad I felt the need to write today, it has allowed me to revisit my plan and re-evaluate where Im at and how to adjust my plan accordingly. Have you set your goals yet? Do you plan on making a vision board? If not, how do you plan to manifest your desires?

Greatness

You know, your words are more powerful than most realize and you have the capability to make whatever you want happen or manifest. Leading up to new years, I have been super pumped, speaking positive and super grateful for all that is coming not only to myself but to my household and every individual in it. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful. That was my mantra. I try to be very conscious about the words that I speak, because I dont want to bring ill to myself or anyone else. So along with the gratefulness it would followed by everything that comes my way, both good and bad. And oddly enough, its taken for me to sit here and start writing this for me to remember that I am grateful for all that comes my way both good and bad. The reason why I say that, is because currently I am sitting on a friends couch in front of her space heater using her wifi. Why am I here and not at home? Well because its winter time, and this winter at the very beginning of the year, not only did my heat want to act a fool, a pipe wanted to burst and flood my cellar. Not only is the cellar flooded, but the new furnace that was installed about 3 months ago is trashed and maybe the  the water heater. I forgot to be grateful in these past 2 days of events, instead I have worried, stressed and became a bitch towards everyone else. In reality, Ive done all that I needed to do in notifying the appropriate people and letting them do what they need to do, so there was no reason to continue the stress and attitude. I remember one of the first things I said this year was that 2018 was going to be great, well my dear, greatness will not come with out challenges. So again I say, 2018 will be great and I will be grateful for everything that comes my way- both good and bad.