Thursday, February 18, 2016

Today is the day.

Today i feel each and every one of the 700 miles that separates me from my parents. Today is the day that i knew was coming, yet i cant help but to cry. Today is the day i sit in my corner at work and try to cry as silently as i can. Today is the day that i lean on those in my circle more than i have ever done before. Today is the day that i will more than likely do nothing productive because i cant keep my mind from trying to visualize what is going on. Today is the day that my eye will not stop twitching. Today is the day that i will try to hide my red watery eyes and red nose from my son.
Although i knew that my father was having surgery today, it still worries me and makes me nervous, especially since im not there to help in anyway. -- This was written January 4, 2016. This day was the beginning of one of the most stressful times in my life. My father had been diagnosed with cancer, and that day was the day that he would have an 8+ hour surgery to remove it, and I was no where to be found.

Ive seen other people deal with cancer, seen the stress on their face and heard the stories, but no matter how much of that you have seen from the outside looking in, it will never prepare you for that journey. I wasnt able to make it back home to help neither my dad nor mom during this difficult time, but I made sure that I saw them and talked to them multiple times during the day. Although I was not physically able to help relieve my mother from long nights in the hospital or helping take care of her house, talking to throughout the day helped us both. I dont wish any ill upon my enemies to begin with, but I swear I wouldnt wish watching your parent go through something so stressful up them either.

I will say this, something serious like cancer will show you how strong people are. For instance, my mom has always been everyones nurse - Nurse Rachette according to her.  But for as long as I can remember, she has always taken care of people when they needed it, changing bandages, giving shots, etc.  So I know she had an idea of how she would be needed in this situation, but I think she underestimated how much of a toll it would take on her. Nonetheless, ma was there right by daddys side taking care of him and fussing at him like normal all while running around on next to nothing fume wise. The strength of my mother during this situation was nothing short of amazing, and as crazy as Sr talks about the both of us, I hope i can be just as strong as her if the need ever arises. I dont think I ever really told her thank you or not, but ma, when you do read this, just know that the gratitude and thankfulness of having you as a mother to show me what true strength is, and how to be a phenomenal wife is the best thing you could have even shown me. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my daddy and help bringing him back to his old self again. I love you

In regards to my father, well lets just say Im sure I got on his nerves. lol I face timed with him daily, multiple times, got to see him when no one else by my mother could and I think i was occasionally ignored. But you know what, it was worth it. After surgeries, multiple ER visits, weight loss, dehydration and stuborness, I can happily say that my daddy is cancer free and smiling, yet another reason why he is still the strongest man I know. I wont go into detail about our journey, but I will say, Im loving where we are at and I am so proud of my dad. Its been a little over 2 months and he is back to the gym working out and doing everything else he was doing before this detour. Daddy, I am so proud of you. You bounced back from something that some people can never do. We had some low points but you never gave up. Youve always been the strongest person I know, but now you just set a new standard. lol Im so proud of you and love you with everything inside of me.

No comments:

Post a Comment