Anxiety. Anxiety is the best way to describe my current feeling and continual feeling since Friday. Or maybe sensory overload? Fear, doubt, uncertainty?
These feelings started Friday because I started making plans to attend the elementary school showcase here in our district. That started the uncertainty, since I had no idea what to expect, what to do, where to start. Thankfully Sr went with me and we prep talked before getting there about our expectations and what we thought we knew. So we get there and starts the words of clusters, transportation, magnets, traditional, applications and so forth. O. M. G.
So now stuff is starting to hit me. Like Omg were here looking at schools for my soon to be kindergartner. Where has the time gone? Omg my baby is growing up and isn't a baby anymore. How is he going to do in school with all the big kids? I hope he doesn't give his teacher hell. I hope he doesn't try to mack on his teacher. Will he get bullied? Will he be a bully? These are all thoughts that ran through my head in all of 30 seconds after taking with the assistant principal of one school. Keep in mind while I'm having a million thoughts run through my head, I'm looking crazy wandering around this ballroom.
We got some good information about the schools in our cluster, we found out we will have transportation within our cluster and we, will I'm still kinda on the fence of magnet vs traditional schools. So comes the next part, visiting schools and determining what we like and what we feel is best. With that being said it was asked how the schools of our choice test scores look. This brought on a whole second wave of overstimulation. Now I'm looking like Omg what does this mean, this percentile- is it more good than bad, what is this based off of etc. Anxiety all over again. Then I see posts about the brigance test and ho so and sos child did this or missed that, passed this. That sends me into a whole nother tizzy. Can you see why I'm on overload yet? Now in trying to figure out where this test is, when it should or should have been done, has it already been done-if so how did Jr do. *enter doubt and uncertainty on behalf of the mother *
I've never heard of any of this before this. Wtf is this and where are we in relation to this? Now in feeling like: well I should been known about this. What is my daycare doing to prepare him? I know I've slacked off on my end when it comes to home work, I've probably failed him. Like this all stuff that I'm feeling right now, and lightweight cry about. Im stressed about this.
If you've gone through this process, is all of this norma? Am I crazy? A little bit of both? Pray for me